some nameless god

d. ellis phelps

December 7, 2025

when i think of jesus

i think of sitting on a cold curb

a couple of days sober

bright night sky above

at the meeting      they’d said

the way to stay sober was

to turn my life over 

to god

when i think of staying sober

i think of shaking and waking

fear screaming me out of half-sleep

no sleep and craving craving

chain smoking and learning to love

coffee more than dope

& how i did not know 

how to pray

when i think of prayer

i think of Sunday mornings

at the first southern baptist church

choir practice      me     a child

         singing for my soul

how i believed the stories

i was told

when i think of stories

i think of abraham and his son issac

how abraham was willing 

to sacrifice his only son to prove

his fear of the lord

how nuts is that

what kind of god 

would ask this of a man

when i think of men—their stories

and gods and jesus

i am a gyroscope off its axis

how can a god with a penchant 

for sacrificing only sons be trusted

what kind of maniac recorded this

as gospel      and called it

the greatest story ever told

what kind of man would teach this

absolute obedience

to a child

when i think of a child

i think of the manger

in which it is said 

the christ was born

how the world rejoiced

they say

how he’d come to save us

when i think of being saved

i think of that cold curb 

how i prayed

how i stayed 

sober

some nameless god

must have heard me

d. ellis phelps is the author of five poetry collections with the most recent being book of common breath (Kelsay Books,  forthcoming 2026) and one novel, Making Room for George. She is the founding editor of fws: international journal of literature & art where she enjoys publishing the work of her contemporaries.